Lately I have faced so many situations and articles where success and money are pointed as something bad. I have read about it in so many articles and materials on Facebook, but also I have heard it from people around me.
I have been thinking about it for such a long time. I have started even thinking that I am bad person because I have good career, I focus on my goals and it makes me happy. I have heard so many statements like:
“You will never be happy!”
“You just focus on your career!”
“You don’t know what love means!”
And so much more…
After months of hearing it I kind of started believing in it. I got to the point when I believed that I am worse because I have a good job which I actually love and which makes me happy. I was even shame when I had some small successes. I even got to the point when I lost all my goals and all motivation because I believed that it will not make me happy. Lucky me, after awhile I have started rethinking about it. Let me share my opinion about it.
You are worse, because…
My mum always used to say that money will not make you happy, even we used to be one of these “rich” families. And I totally agree with it! The question is if we should say exactly the same about success and goals? If we should feel guilty because we are successful people? I started to analyse it deeply. Most of the people, who judge me negatively based on my successful job path, don’t have a good job and didn’t achieve so much in their professional side of the life. It makes me assume that maybe it is just their frustration? The main point is, I am not saying they are wrong, but we cannot judge other people if we have never experienced the same thing. Then I started to analyse if being successful means that I will not be happy, I will never love, I will never be loved, my successful friends are fake friends, it means I am doing something wrong? My answer is NO.
I don’t think being successful means that you are doing wrong. I don’t think that focusing on your goals and improving yourself means that you cannot be happy in relationship or you cannot have friends. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying, that all people who focus on career are awesome and they are better than others! They are not! Most of the time, I can agree, that there is so many people who don’t care about relationships and focus too much on career. It is the truth. But the question is, all of them are the same? I don’t think so.
You are not better and you are not worse…
I strongly believe that being successful in professional perspective, focusing on your goals and improving yourself doesn’t mean you cannot have amazing relationship and awesome friends. Also it doesn’t mean you are worse than others, and also it doesn’t mean you are better than others. I would really love to convince you that we shouldn’t judge people based on it. All of us learn something during our life journey, some people used to more focus on family and some used to more focus on career, each of them needs to probably improve different aspects of their life and probably different things makes them happy.
I can see this kind of trend that social medias promote values of life. We can see so many articles saying that we should focus on families, love, friends etc and you are not rich when you have just money. And I totally agree with it, but do NOT take it as black and white statement. You can have a good job, you can improve yourself, you can follow your goals AND you can have lovely relationship and true friends around you. Also you can have a job which you hate, you can have no money AND you can be horrible person in relationship and hurt people around you. You are not worse or better based on your career. We have to remember that different things makes different people happy and we just should accept it.
Sharing a little bit personal experiences. I am aware of the fact that I used to focus too much on my career, but lucky me, based on so many difficult experiences, I have learnt that relationships are really important and I have changed it in my life. Now I focus on my career but also on people who I love.
I would love to hear your opinion about this difficult topic.
Zaneta loves challenges so deciding about career path she has chosen typical male industry. Woman who codes. Every 1-2 years she lives in different part of the world. Gym dates is something what she specialised in. Healthy lifestyle, extreme sports and motorbikes have stolen her hear years ago.